Hiding Shadows
by RidiculousNonsense
Summary: Emory's worked hard to lock away her past, but when events bring her to Central she becomes involved with Team Mustang, and one blonde soldier in particular. Can she hide from her shadows?
1. Chapter 1

[_A/N: Alrighty, first off, I haven't had the time or the inspiration to write but I promise I won't forget this fic. Next, I was reviewing my plot and I realized parts of it really sucked, so I'll be editing a few things. If you reread and notice something's been removed and want to know, I'll be more than happy to explain, so just PM me. I think that's about it for now…stay posted and be sure to click that beautiful little review button :3]_

_Damn this place is huge…_My thoughts were interrupted as I was pushed aside by a large crowd of people.

"Oh my God it's the Elric brothers!"

From somewhere to my right: "I heard he is the youngest person to ever become a state alchemist!"

"Really? But he's so small!"

"Who are you calling so small he could commit suicide by jumping off a curb?" An angry voiced yelled out followed by a few chuckles from the crowd.

_Ugh. State Alchemists._ They were ok, I guess. Sure their little tricks were nifty, but jeeze were they a pompous bunch of assholes. I sighed and shifted the bag on my shoulder. It had everything, my entire life; it was all zipped up in that little backpack. Sure it was convenient, and it was a great feeling to just be able to go whenever I felt like it, but after fourteen years of it, I was just ready to stop and sit for a while.

_Now let's see…._ I quickly became lost in thought as I tried to figure out where I was. _That guy at the train station said there was a decent apartment building around here somewhere…did he say take a right on fourth, then a left on main? Or a left on fourth and a right on main..? Gah!_ It was all so damn frustrating. I'd never been good at directions and the stupid man wouldn't speak slower.

"It's gotta be around here somewhere…" I mumbled.

"I'm sorry?" A kind looking, if rather short, man with glasses and a military uniform turned around.

"Oh I'm sorry! I was talking to myself…" I quickly apologized. _Nice, now he thinks you're a basket case._ I thought to myself angrily…he chuckled kindly.

"It's ok, I do the same thing. You look a little lost, do you need help?" His voice was kind and earnest.

"oh uh…yeah" I laughed sheepishly "directions have never been my forte." I told him where I was going and he gave me decent directions on how to get there. Maybe this city wouldn't be so bad after all.

"I'm sorry, I'm being rude. My name is Sergeant Kain Feury." He offered me his hand. I was slightly shocked; so far everyone in this town had just answered my questions like it was some big inconvenience and stalked off.

"I'm Emory Alexander, nice to meet you." I shook his hand and put on my friendliest smile.

"Sergeant Feury!" A stern voice cut across the crowd and the man jumped to attention.

"I have to go, it was nice to meet you though Emory! Good luck here!" He said with a smile and a wave as he walked away. _Wow, was it that obvious that I was new?_ I thanked him for his time and watched as he walked over and saluted to a stern, but kind looking blonde woman and a taller black-haired man. They both looked over and I smoothly shifted my gaze. This many years in the work I do and you get pretty good at things like that. They almost become…natural.

I shifted my bag again and walked off in the direction the man suggested and soon found my way to a medium-sized, decent looking building with a 'vacancy' sign taped to the front window. I walked in and the place was light and inviting. I walked up to the desk and struck up a conversation with the woman who I assumed was the landlord. She seemed nice enough, so I just decided to go for it, gesturing to the sign in the window, I smiled and said:

"I'll take it." She looked at me, completely stunned.

"W-what? Don't you want to look at it first?" She stammered, her face betraying her shock and confusion. I shook my head.

"You sound like you run a pretty tight ship and judging by this lobby the apartments are nice." I shrugged nonchalantly. "Besides, I need a place to stay, pretty much right now." She laughed pleasantly.

"I wish all my customers were as decisive as you. Here," she handed me a stack of paperwork "fill these out, make the down payment and the apartment is yours."

I skimmed the paperwork, signed my name and made the payment. I made my way up the stairs and passed several doors until I found the correct room number and opened the door. There was a small entryway that opened up into a fully furnished living room/kitchen ensemble (the rooms didn't really have boundaries) and there was a small hallway to the left that led to the bedrooms. It was light, and open which was nice after a long time traveling by cramped train. It was almost homey. I laughed bitterly. After taking a moment, I went room-to-room unpacking things from my bag and placing them where they seemed to fit best.

After about thirty minutes or so of arranging and unpacking I sat down on the couch and just thought. _I wonder how Fletch is doing... _I shook my head to clear it and stop the hollow ache in my chest. _Man I missed him… What am I doing? I need to be out trying to find a job!_ I got up from the couch, grabbed my keys and walked out the door.

I wandered aimlessly for almost an hour, while trying to keep track of where I was, when I found a small bar that needed someone to bus tables. _Ah what the hell, why not, it's a job right?_ I walked in and was greeted by the sharp scent of liquor and the dusty scent of the building itself. I walked up to the bar and a middle- aged man stood up and greeted me warmly. We struck up a conversation and he hired me. The job wasn't too demanding, just a few hours every day to clean tables and sweep the floors and whatnot. Besides, the man seemed like a nice enough guy. He told me to come in tomorrow afternoon for some training and then I would be ready to work tomorrow night. I walked outside and noticed that the sun was steadily sinking towards the horizon and a cool breeze was starting to blow. I headed off in the direction of my apartment, trying to get back before it got dark.

I woke up late the next morning, it was after noon, and realized that I had no food. I inwardly groaned as I heard my stomach growl and dragged myself out of bed to get dressed. I would go shopping later. I leave the apartment and begin wandering. Luckily, I found a great little café down the street, bought a muffin and coffee and went out to sit on the patio and enjoy the cool early fall air.

As I sat there nibbling on my muffin, a tall, good looking blonde man in a military uniform with an unlit cigarette in his mouth opened the gate for a pretty little blonde haired woman. I suddenly lost my appetite. _Just a letter or something. I keep sending him letters with my destinations and plans and he just won't write back!_ I grip the ring that I kept on a chain around my neck and I could feel my great mood slowly being dragged down, so I stood up in disgust, threw my unfinished muffin and coffee away and brushed past them. As I walked past, I noticed how kind and deep the man's eyes were and how sweetly the amused smile played across his lips, I remember wondering if all the men in central were that good looking.

I wandered the city for a few hours, going in various shops until I caught sight of a clock. It was after two and the bartender told me to be there at three for training, so I decided to head back towards where I thought the bar was. At least his way when I got lost, I would have plenty of time to find my way. As I wandered through the city, thoughts of everything that had happened in my life began to cloud my mind. Feeling my mood dampen even more, I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts. _Since when have you been so nostalgic?_ I took a deep breath and walked into the bar, trying to forget the dark memories that were threatening to take over. The bartender greeted me and began to cover everything I would need to know.

"We don't start serving drinks until after four, but we get here at three to get everything ready. Just go light the candles and set out the chairs." The bartender informed me; I nodded and quickly went to work. After a while a bunch of men in military uniforms began to file in. I seated them and took their orders. It was Thursday, so the traffic wasn't too bad, but this definitely seemed to be a popular military hang out. All the men left shortly after one. The drunks included…well with a little persuasion anyway. I stretched and hung my apron up on the rack. The Bartender, Ben, praised me on a job well done and told me I could go home.

I finally got back to my apartment and kicked off my shoes before collapsing face-down on the bed. My stomach growled. _Damn, I forgot dinner_… I would definitely need to go shopping tomorrow morning. I stood up and walked into the bathroom for a nice long shower.

_"Fletcher!" I could hear the panic in my voice as I screamed his name. I was clutching him desperately, and I sobbed as I felt a strange warmth spreading quickly down my arms and into my lap. Blood. A sickening feeling tore through me as I sat there helplessly, tears streaming down my face, and watched the life slip from his eyes._

I woke up in a panic, breathing heavily and clutching the sheets so tightly my knuckles were white. I sat there trembling and sobbing for who knows how long. I tried to convince myself that it was just a nightmare and that Fletch was fine. I got up and stumbled to the bathroom and turned the shower on cold. I got in and sat down, pulling my knees to my chest, not even bothering to undress. The need to get his blood off of me was unbearable. I knew I was being ridiculous, that it was just a dream, but I couldn't shake the feeling of being covered in it. After what seemed like an eternity, my thoughts began to have some clarity again. I stood up, swaying slightly and turned the water off. _Damn…that was…stupid…_ I thought to myself weakly. I grabbed a towel on my way out and curled up in bed, trying to shove the nightmare into that small compartment in the corner of my mind where I stored unpleasant things. That's what you had to do with nightmares, and terrible memories; shove them in a box in your mind and never, _ever, open it. _I laid there, mind numb and shivering uncontrollably as the sun slowly rose. I sighed heavily, got up and prepared to face the day.

After changing, I walked outside in search of a market. I had heard from the landlady that there was a really good one just a ten-minute's walk from here. Taking a deep breath of cool morning air, I tried to improve my mood and forget the nightmare. The little café I had stopped at the day before supplied me with another muffin for my journey. As I walked, I took in the architecture and really noticed the immense size of Central Command. After about eight or nine minutes I saw a market tucked off to the side. _Ah, there you are._ I changed my course and surveyed the immense number of goods. I tried to stick to the food, knowing that I could blow a whole day and all of my money at the other stands. I quickly narrowed in on some apples. I reached for one, only to bump into another hand. I looked up to see a halfway familiar face. I stammered out some sort of apology and he laughed. He had a great laugh.

"It's my fault, I wasn't paying attention." He said with a warm smile, an unlit cigarette was stuck in the corner of his mouth. I couldn't help but smile back.

"Hey, I saw you at the café yesterday, right?" He asked curiously, raising his eyebrow. It took me a minute to remember what he was talking about.

"Oh yeah, I remember." I replied.

"Great place isn't it?" He said cheerily, I laughed a little.

"Yeah, I'm glad I found it, I'm new here so I have no idea where anything is." _Shit._ What was I doing? I couldn't just go around advertising that. People were searching for me…He looked at me in surprise.

"Really? Well, welcome to Central!" He said, eyes warm. I smiled and opened my mouth to say thanks when a shorter, heavyset man with red hair walked up and interrupted.

"Yo Havoc. Mustang'll have our asses if you don't quit flirting and get a move on!" I blushed slightly and looked away. _What was I doing? I was supposed to be waiting for Fletch,_ **my husband,**_ not flirting with the military men._ He laughed and told the man to shut up.

"I'm sorry, where are my manners? I'm Jean Havoc." He said with a grin. I smiled back.

"I'm Emory Alexander, nice to meet you." We shook hands and the man called Breda yelled at him again.

"I'm sorry" he said with a sheepish grin, "I have to go, see you around?" I was shocked at how kind he was; he just assumed I was a normal girl. I kept forgetting people wouldn't recognize me here. I was just another woman.

"Yeah" I said with a grin. I watched them walk away, completely oblivious to the world. I heard a woman giggling. I turned towards the source of the noise to see a pretty, young woman watching with a delighted smile on her face.

"I would definitely pursue him. He works for Roy Mustang," another giggle, "and Havoc's easily dumped" I looked at her in shock and disgust. He was such a nice man, why would anyone even think of doing that. She continued to babble away, completely oblivious to my angry stare.

"Roy is so gorgeous…most girls date Havoc in order to get close to him." I shook my head in disgust, paid for the apples and walked away. _Why would anyone take advantage of the poor man like that._ It really made me angry_. Wait, what the hell do I care? I'm just here waiting for Fletch, nothing else._ I finished the rest of my shopping in a foul mood and stalked back to my apartment.

After putting the food away, I sat on the couch, trying to figure out what to do. I still had five hours until I needed to go to work.

"Gah!" I threw my head back against the couch and stared at the ceiling. I couldn't get that blonde soldier out of my head. I closed my eyes and tried to sort through my thoughts like one would sort through tangled string. After a while I dozed off and woke up to mid afternoon sunlight. I looked up at the clock and realized it was half past two.

"Shit!" I stood up in a panic, grabbed my keys and ran out the door. Somehow, after a few wrong turns I managed to make it there on time. I arrived short of breath and a chuckle from Ben. I mumbled an apology and told him about my problem with directions. He grinned and said to not worry about it.

"Now, as I'm sure you've noticed, today is Friday which also happens to be the busiest time of the week. Just keep your head about you and don't let stupid drunken men get to you. If you have any problems, come find me and I'll take care of them for you." He instructed. I scowled before remembering that this man had no idea of my past, or my abilities for that matter. I let it go, but I wasn't about to let some old man come and save my ass from a drunken soldier. I walked over to the rack, put my apron on and waited. All of the tables were still set up from our clean up the night before so there was nothing really to do. I sat at the bar with my chin resting on my hand when I heard the door open. _And now it begins_…I thought. I sighed, stood and headed to the group of men.

After about thirty minutes, the place was full of more people than I would have ever thought could fit in the small building. A few lightweights were already being loud in one corner and a few older men with the burden of their pasts etched into their faces were sitting at the bar, drowning war memories in their drinks. I pressed my lips together. I had a deeper connection to those men than I would ever let on. Too bad alcohol didn't make me forget, like it did for them. The bar had a few women in it, obviously hunting for a good looking soldier to go home with, and there were a few with dates. I was waiting on a table with five women; internally cringing at their stupid remarks and constant blathering. All of a sudden they ignored me, sitting up straighter, and primping their hair and makeup. I turned to the door and saw a group of men come in, the first of which was the dark haired man I had seen my first day here, a bit on the tall side, with dark eyes. He was pretty good looking but I could tell by the way he strutted in and ignored the stares from all the women that he was an arrogant ass. I rolled my eyes and tried to recapture the women's attention so they could finish ordering. One hushed me and before I could spit out a retort she whispered without looking away from the man;

"Just come back in a few minutes…"

"Um, excuse me, but who is that?" I asked. Apparently it was a stupid question. All of a sudden five pairs of eyes were drilling into my face along with a chorus of "you can't be serious?" and "are you kidding?" The one I was talking to just sat there and stared at me, dumfounded.

"He's the Flame Alchemist...You know, Roy Mustang?" She said, tone implying that I was an idiot. I groaned inwardly, _not this guy again_…I looked back, trying to figure out what they saw in him, when I saw a tall gray- haired man and a few familiar faces. First was the smaller man I met on my first day in central…what was his name...oh yeah, Feury. Then the heavyset redhead walked in followed by the tall blonde man, Havoc.

I quickly turned around again and the woman misunderstood my actions.

"Gorgeous, I know." Her dreamlike tone quickly turned bitter "but he wouldn't go for a homely little barmaid like yourself."

"Good, he seems like an arrogant ass anyway..." I muttered. This earned me plenty of fierce glares. I just laughed and walked away. I returned with their drinks, but tried to leave their table as quickly as possible, I wouldn't want one of them to blow a fuse from the heated glares they were giving me. I heard May call to me from a nearby table,

"Emory, can you get the group that just walked in? My hands are a little full here" She sounded a bit desperate as a man snapped his fingers at her, trying to recapture her attention. I laughed and told her I would take care of it. I walked over to their table and was greeted by a delighted Jean. I pretended to be surprised to see him (didn't want him thinking I had watched them come in).

"Hey! I wasn't expecting to see you here." I said with a smile. He laughed and said something about this being a weekly tradition of theirs. "Oh, let me introduce you. This is Warrant Officer Vato Falman" gestured to the Gray haired man, "I'm sure you remember Breda," he said as he gestured to the redhead. I laughed a little and nodded "next is-"

"I remember you, we talked a few days ago" the small brown haired man interrupted. I nodded and smiled,

"Yeah, you're Kain right?" He grinned and nodded.

"And this is Colonel Roy Mustang" He said with a little less gusto, gesturing to the black haired man.

"Well it's nice to meet you all, I'm Emory Alexander" I said with a smile, "What can I get you guys to drink?" I took their orders and left the table to get their drinks. My mind was still lost in Jean's smile when I felt an unwelcome hand on my ass. I turned around to face a group of clearly plastered men.

"Excuse me." I said furiously.

"Hey cutie" he replied with a creepy grin

"Back off, you asshole." I fired back. His friends started laughing obnoxiously and he stood up. Unfortunately we were near a wall and he quickly had me pinned with both of my hands being held by one of his above my head and his knee between my legs. I said with a menacing tone:

"I'll give you one more chance to back off. If you don't, you'll regret it." He chuckled and began to nuzzle my neck, which really pissed me off. I could see Havoc and the other men at his table take notice and start to head over here angrily. I wrenched one of my hands free to punch the man in the gut then grabbed the back of his head and slammed his face into my knee. He fell to the ground groaning and holding his now broken nose.

"Told you." I crossed my arms and glared at him for a moment before the other four men at his table began to approach. I looked up at them.

"What you're all going to take me on now? Didn't you see what happened to your friend?" The rest of the bar was starting to take notice and I could hear them quiet down. One man lunged at me and I easily dodged his punch and elbowed him in the back of his head, effectively knocking him out. At this point Havoc and the others were just standing there with stunned looks on their faces. I took out the other three without much fanfare, just in time for Ben to show up.

"What happened?" He asked shocked. I looked up from the men that lay groaning on the ground.

"He grabbed my ass." I responded calmly. At this point Havoc decided to step in,

"We looked over and the man had her pinned up against the wall. She acted in self-defense." He said confidently. I looked at him in shock. What was he doing defending me? Ben sighed heavily and told everyone else to go back to what they were doing. He brushed passed Havoc, who had come to stand between us, and walked up to me and held out his hand. He said quietly,

"Those were military officials, I told you to come find me if you had trouble. I have to fire you now…. I'm sorry."

"It's fine, I understand. I let my temper get the best of me." I took off my apron, handed it to him, thanked him for his time and walked out. I took a deep breath of the cool night air and mumbled to myself "Well shit…you really messed that one up didn't you?"

"Hey, Emory, wait a minute!" I heard a familiar voice; I turned around to see Havoc walking after me.

"What are you doing?" I asked, tilting my head slightly in curiosity as he reached where I was standing. Wow he was tall…

"I'm sorry about that, we should have intervened sooner."

"What? No, no," I shook my head "it's not your problem, I let my temper get away from me…I really appreciate you sticking up for me though." I said smiling slightly. He chuckled.

"Hey, miss Alexander." I heard a deep voice call. Havoc turned and I looked around him to see none other than Mustang walking towards us. "That was pretty impressive in there." My eyes narrowed a bit.

"Thank you" I responded curtly.

"Do you mind if I asked where you learned how to fight like that?" He asked, eyes studying me..

"I taught myself." I replied with a nonchalant shrug. This earned me stares of disbelief.

"Wow…forgive my prying, but if you need a job you can come work for me at the military." He said. I just sat there, slightly stunned at the offer. He laughed "Just think about it. C'mon Havoc." He turned to walk away and after a moment's hesitation and a goodnight from Jean, he followed. Mustang called over his shoulder, "if you decide to join us, just come find me at Central." I nodded then yelled thanks. I stood there for a moment watching as the two walked away. I shook my head and scoffed. _That's just what I need to do, get involved with yet another military. _I thought with bitter sarcasm before turning to walk back to my apartment.


	2. Chapter 2

_[A/N: Revised ch 2! :D Anyone know how to keep page breaks? I had some in the first chapter, but they disappeared when I uploaded it…]_

I wasted a few days roaming the city and mulling Mustang's offer over_. I really need a job and this one could be fun…But if Fletch showed up and I had gotten involved with the military, I wouldn't be able to just up and leave_…

I kept arguing with myself, only to end up back where I started. I needed a job.

As the days passed, fall rolled in and the air became cooler. The trees changed color in the park a few blocks away from my apartment and a light jacket was necessary now. _I wonder if it snows here…_ I thought as I was slowly walking down Main Street; it was around seven in the morning so no one was really out. My hands were shoved in my jacket pockets and I was free to let my mind wander. I had finally gotten a letter from Fletch:

_"Em, Tying up a few things back home then I'll meet you there, stay put. Don't get into trouble."_

_That was it. Months without contact and that was all the man had to say…_I frowned, slightly frustrated, and focused on the ground, trying to keep my emotions in check. The more I thought about him, the more worried I became. There was no guarantee that anything was wrong, he would have hinted in the letter if there was. I just couldn't shake this feeling…All of a sudden I ran straight into someone. I quickly stepped back and looked up, the apology dying on my lips as my gray eyes met a pair of, now familiar, blue ones.

"Emory?" He was grinning, his customary cig hanging out of the side of his mouth. "Hey! What are you doing here? Are you taking up Mustang's offer?" He asked excitedly. I stared at him, the confusion evident on my face, _what the hell was he talking about?_ My mind was still with Fletch. Blinking, trying to clear my thoughts I slowly came back to reality.

"Oh hey, Jean" Glancing around, I realized we were in front of central command. _Shit_. "Well actually, uh…I still haven't decided yet." I mumbled. I felt bad lying to him. I really wanted to trust him but every time I opened up to someone, they ended up dead or coming after my blood, I was hoping he'd just take the answer without too many questions…

"Oh" He looked disappointed, I studied his face, slightly confused as to why that would disappoint him when he smiled again, "Why don't you come inside? You can sit in and see if you're interested…kinda like a test run." _Damn, I don't have an excuse not to, and any normal person would kill for the chance to work for Mustang. There was no credible way to say no and keep them from becoming involved…._I sighed then smiled.

"That's a great idea, I'd love to." I responded, trying to sound cheery. He grinned.

"Good, follow me." He continued walking the direction he was headed before I ran into him, and waited for me to follow. _How am I supposed to get out of this? _I cursed my luck again and followed. We walked through the front gate and as we approached the building, I looked up and my pace slowed. _Jeeze this building is huge…How do they get anything done? I would spend weeks on end just trying to find my way around…_ He realized I wasn't next to him anymore, slowed and turned,

"Is something wrong?" He asked, brow furrowed slightly in confusion. I blinked, trying to figure out why he sounded confused; I hadn't realized I'd stopped.

"No, I'm fine, this place is just…_massive_….." I looked away from the building and back at him; he laughed that warm laugh of his and agreed before walking again. I caught up just as we reached the huge wooden front door; he nodded to the guards and walked in.

Inside there was a huge room with a large greeting desk of sorts and four secretaries who greeted the tall blonde soldier beside me with giggles and flirtatious remarks. He grinned charmingly at them, which incited more giggles and I rolled my eyes, _So you're one of _those_ huh?_ We reached the elevator and he pushed the button, chewing on the unlit cig thoughtfully. We stood there and waited for the elevator to arrive, I studied him out of the corner of my eye. I was tall for a girl but he stood a good head taller than me. He was nicely built, with kind blue eyes and tousled blonde hair. I remembered what the girl at the market had said and thought back to Mustang. I really just didn't see what the other women saw in him. Sure he was the tall, dark and mysterious type…well at least he worked hard to project that image, but he just struck me as an asshole…The elevator arrived and he gestured for me to go first. I smiled and thanked him; he returned the smile, followed me in and pushed the button.

"So how do you like central so far?" I looked up to meet his gaze, momentarily lost in his kind eyes, and answered without thinking.

"I like it, it's a bit too crowded for my taste but it's better than some of the other places I've been to." He raised his eyebrow questioningly,

"I grew up in the east, so I get what you're saying about it being too crowded. It sounds like you travel a lot…" He said, watching me curiously. _Shit_. _Why do you keep saying too much? The less he knew the better. People want me dead. I'm a cold blooded killer…_

"Not a lot, but I've been to enough places to say that Central is nicer than most cities." I said, trying to cover my mistake, without making it obvious. He nodded in agreement,

"Yeah it's pretty nice" The elevator came to a stop and he once again waited for me to go first. I got off the elevator and waited for him to lead the way. He set off down the hallway and I followed closely as we turned down hallway after hallway. _Damn…it's even more confusing than I was expecting…_

"How do you not get lost?" I asked glancing in open doors and watching people salute as he passed. He chuckled before responding,

"I did, many times, but you learn fast." He flashed a quick smile at me and kept walking.

"I doubt I would ever learn to get around here…hell I need a map to find the front door to my apartment…" I muttered. He laughed and looked over at me.

"I doubt that." He said, voice amused. I gave him an "are you kidding?" look and replied,

"Just wait, if I end up taking this job you'll see." He grinned and stopped at a large wooden door.

"Here we are." He pushed the door open and walked in first, I followed and we walked into a large well-lit room with a few tables, some filing cabinets and a door at the opposite end. There were a few large windows, making it seem light and airy. I noticed the same men that were at the bar spread out at the tables in the middle of the room. Breda greeted Havoc, who sat down across from him.

"Long time no see eh? Not since you kicked ass at that bar." Breda said to me with an amused look. I wasn't sure if I should sit too, so I stood there and it took me a minute to realize he was talking to me, I looked at him and mumbled some sort of greeting. "So does this mean you're taking the job?" He asked, studying me. I shook my head and started to answer when Havoc interrupted.

"She hasn't decided yet. I ran into her on my way here and told her she could sit in for a day and see what she thinks." Havoc answered before I could.

"Really? Well when we're not on missions we sit around and do Mustang's paperwork, it's _really_ exciting." Breda said. The sarcasm was hard to miss, I laughed. _These guys reminded me of the soldiers I worked with back home, always cracking jokes…_A feeling of homesickness washed over me before being drowned out by bitterness towards my father…my teeth clenched slightly and I tried to distract myself.

"Why are you guys doing his paperwork?" I asked Breda.

"Because he's a lazy ass." He and Jean laughed for a moment before Jean looked at me, amused.

"You can sit wherever you want." I nodded and pulled out the chair next to him and sat. The door opened and a blonde woman I didn't recognize walked in. She spotted me and walked over to the table and stood next to Breda.

"You must be Emory" She said. I guess my surprise was evident because she quickly explained "Mustang told me he offered you a job. I'm Lieutenant Hawkeye, by the way." I smiled and said it was nice to meet her. _She doesn't seem like someone to mess with…Is she the only woman on the team? _The door opened and Mustang strode in, interrupting my thoughts. He greeted the men and his eyes narrowed in on me.

"Nice to see you here today miss Alexander. Have you decided to join us?" He walked over and smiled.

"Just call me Emory, seriously, and I'm not sure yet." I responded, watching him.

"I ran into her this morning and told her she could sit in and see what we do" Havoc interjected. Mustang nodded and told me to follow him. I hesitated then stood._ Why does he want me to join his team so badly? They seem to have the right balance as it is…_he walked to the door on the opposite side of the room and opened it, waiting for me to go first. _Obviously chivalry isn't dead here…_I walked into a well-lit office with a sitting area and a large desk. He approached the desk, set down his coffee and the stack of papers he was carrying, took off his jacket and hung it up in silence.

"I guess you've been considering my offer then?" He sat in the chair behind the desk and gestured for me to sit in one of the chairs on the opposite side of the large oak desk.

"Well sort of, I think I'm going to have to decline though." I said, keeping my face open and honest. _Ok, I've got to figure out what he wants…If I had to guess he's the manipulative type…_He studied me.

"Forgive my prying, but why?" He asked as he leaned back and waited for me to answer. Bingo. _This man is definitely a manipulator; he's trying to get me comfortable so he can squeeze the truth out of me. _I met his gaze evenly, fighting back my irritation.

"I'm waiting for a friend and as soon as he gets here, we're leaving and I doubt the military will just let me go." _I need to be honest…a little anyway…_He nodded,

"That's where this is different; you seem like the kind of person who travels a lot, so this will be a temporary job." _Dammit, he's trying to back me into a corner…there are a million reasons not to._ _I already had enough soldiers hunting me; I don't need to get involved with another military. Then there was Kurono, and I don't want to get innocent people involved in the demons of my past_. Memories of my last assignment flooded my mind. Blocking the garish images, I turned my focus back to the dark haired man watching me. I could tell he would keep asking questions and would try to get more involved if I kept making up excuses not to, so I gave in with a sigh. He smirked, "So you'll join us?" he questioned, looking smug. I nodded.

"Good. Be here, tomorrow at 7. You have to take an entrance exam, but I have a feeling you'll pass it. Then we have to get you a uniform and a standard issue gun." He stood and held out his hand "Welcome to the team Sergeant Major Alexander." I shook his hand, frustrated at being backed into a corner.

Breda was right; their average day was rather boring. There was something about the atmosphere though. I'd heard about it from some of the men at the bar, mostly new recruits who wanted to join Mustang's team but had been declined; they all said Mustang cared for his men like they were flesh and blood not just pawns. Which was incredibly rare in any military. Looking around at their laughing faces as they joked and pretended to do paperwork, made me realize how lucky I was to have stumbled on them. Hawkeye dismissed us at around 6 and we left the building together. The men were headed to a local bar, what I guessed to be a routine of theirs. They invited me, but I told them maybe another time and goodnight before heading in the direction of my apartment. I walked down the quiet streets (most people got out of work around 5, so there was light military traffic but not really in this area), lost in thought. I walked through the front door and up the starts to my third floor apartment, greeting my neighbor before opening the door and walking in. I stood in the dark entryway a moment, taking in the emptiness of my temporary home. _It's so quiet…_ It had never really bothered me before, being alone, but now that I had spent the whole day joking around with people, I realized how lonely I actually was…_Fletch…_My stomach clenched and I sighed heavily, kicking my shoes off and stalked to the bathroom to take a shower and go to bed. My hunger was drowned in my feeling of worry as the hot water ran down my lightly scarred back. The shower was doing nothing to relieve my tension so I gave up and got out, pulling on PJ's before crawling into bed. Sleep overtook me before my head even hit the pillow.

BEEP….BEEP…..BEEP.

My alarm went off at 5:30 and I grumbled angrily as I rolled over and hit it, silencing the obnoxious beeping. I sat up, rubbing my eyes sleepily. _Why in the hell did I take this damn job again?_ I got out of bed and sleepily made my way to the kitchen in a foul mood. Throwing some cereal in a bowl with some milk and a glass of orange juice, I sat on the counter to eat. The first spoonful was halfway to my mouth when the phone rang.

"Why can't you people just leave me alone…" I muttered angrily setting my bowl down before sliding off the counter and stalking to the phone. I angrily grabbed the receiver and put it up to my ear. "What?" _This had better be a wrong number. It's too damn early to be chit-chatting…_I heard a familiar warm chuckle from the other end.

"Morning sunshine." I couldn't miss the teasing tone in the man's voice. It was Havoc…I sighed and ruffled my hair angrily.

"What do you want?" I demanded. Fletch always teased me about being an absolute bear before breakfast, but it was 5 fucking 30 in the morning and I was not about to jump through hoops to be nice to people.

"I just wanted to tell you a few things before you took your exam today." He said nonchalantly. I stifled a yawn

"Listen, I really appreciate it, but I'm sure I can pass it by myself." It came out harsher than I meant it, but I couldn't bring myself to care. I really didn't want to try and focus this early…I could hear laughing from the other end. _I just bit the man's head off and he was laughing at me…_

"Can you name the ranks in order from highest to lowest?" He asked. I couldn't miss the hint of smugness in his voice, I scowled.

"I'll be right back." I set the phone down, and walked over to grab my bowl and glass of orange juice, muttering angrily to myself the whole way there and back, sitting on the couch next to the table where the phone was. I set the glass on the table and picked the phone up again.

"Fine, but I'm going to eat while you _enlighten_ me, so don't expect much of a response." He caught the sarcasm and chuckled before giving me a rundown of everything I would need to know. _This man is too damn awake for this time of day…_After about thirty minutes, he finished.

"Well I think that covers it…" He said. I sat in silence for a moment.

"Thank you." I was in a better mood now and I really meant it too; he was going out of his way to help me. I could practically hear the smile in his voice.

"It's no problem. Good luck!" With that he hung up. I returned the receiver and got ready for the day.

I arrived at Mustang's office right at 7. I was the fourth one there behind Hawkeye, Breda and Havoc. They greeted me and I opened my mouth to respond when Mustang walked in and everyone saluted.

"You ready Emory?" He asked, walking past me to his office.

"Yeah." I responded nonchalantly, following him. He opened the door and looked at me over his shoulder.

"You mean 'yes sir'." He said, amused.

"Yes sir." I repeated, slightly sarcastically. He smirked and led the way to his desk, asking me to close the door behind us. I did as I was told and approached his desk. He held up a rather thick stack of papers.

"This is the exam. You have 3 hours to complete it and you must score an 85% or higher to be admitted to the Amestrian military." I nodded and he handed me the stack, along with a pencil and told me to sit at the small table on the other side of his office from his desk. I walked over and sat down, and got to work. _Shit this test is long…_ Mustang sat at his desk and did paperwork, but occasionally I could see him glance up and watch me work for a few minutes. As I got into the test I realized it wasn't as hard as I thought…_and that one is…answer choice C…Jeeze, Havoc really knew what he was talking about. A lot of this stuff carries over from the Arvan Guard's basic training, but some of this I would have never gotten…_About an hour later I circled the last answer and carried the test over to Mustang's desk with a slightly smug smile. He was asleep next to a stack of paperwork. I held the test about a foot off the desk and dropped it. It landed with a small thud, but the way Mustang's ear was pressed against the desk it would be a lot louder. He jumped and sat up in surprise.

"Emory…You need something…"He trailed off as he noticed the stack of paper, "You're done?" He glances at the clock, "It's only been an hour and a half!" He said, astonished. I smirked.

"Yeah, and?" I asked nonchalantly. His face was utterly shocked as he flipped through the test, making sure I actually did everything, once he was satisfied he stood and headed to the door, motioning for me to follow him. _Take that you arrogant ass…_I thought to myself. I really appreciated the job and everything, but with this man's ego…it was a miracle he could fit through doorways…He opened it and walked out; everyone looked up, their expressions quickly turning into confusion when they saw me.

"Lieutenant Hawkeye, take Miss Emory to go get a physical exam and a uniform." Mustang said to the blond woman, she saluted with a quick 'yes sir' and told me to follow her. I flashed a quick smile at Havoc and he grinned back before I followed Hawkeye.

As we walked down the hallway, she studied me.

"That was impressive, Emory, I don't think I've ever seen anyone finish the test that quickly…"

"Thanks" I said, smiling. We walked down the hallway, stopping at a door with a glass window and walked inside. There were ten beds or so, each with a curtain that could divide it from the rest of the room. A few were occupied and two or three nurses wandered about. It was a well lit room and smelled faintly of antiseptic…

"Doctor Marcus, this is a new recruit of ours, Emory Alexander. She needs a physical exam." Hawkeye explained to the man. He eyed me for a moment

"Nice to meet you Emory," He offered his hand, "I'm Doctor Marcus." I shook it and smiled at him, he seemed pretty nice.

"I'm off to find you a uniform Emory; I'll meet you back in Mustang's office." Hawkeye said to me, I nodded and she left. He led me to a small examination room off to one side and closed the door behind us.

"Ok Emory, I'm going to need you to strip down to your underwear." I frowned slightly. _I knew this was coming but it still bothered me, not so much that I was half naked in front of a strange man, it was more that I wasn't sure how I was going to explain the scars…_I did as I was told and stood in front of him, Goosebumps covering my skin as it came into contact with the cold air.

"That's an interesting tattoo you've got there…" He commented while he made notes on a clipboard. I subconsciously raised my hand and rubbed the tattoo between the base of my neck and my collar bone, memories flooding my brain. He continued making notes for a moment before asking me to turn. I could hear the scratching of his pen falter as his eyes roamed my back. _Shit…._

"What are all these scars from?" I tensed slightly and quickly made up an excuse.

"Oh, I used to break horses and I was pretty good at it, so they always gave me the crazy ones" I laughed sheepishly, hoping he wouldn't know the difference. I heard the pen resume its scratching.

"Oh really? You know how to ride horses then?" He asked. He seemed to believe me, but he was a military doctor and would probably know what made scars like those…I nodded. He told me I could get dressed again and he checked all my reflexes, my teeth, my eyes, the whole nine yards. It took about fifteen minutes,

"Alright Emory…All finished." He put some papers into a file and gave it to me, "If you don't mind taking this to Mustang that would be great." I smiled and nodded.

"It was nice meeting you." He returned the smile and left the small room, effectively ending the conversation. I frowned slightly and got dressed before somehow finding my way back to Mustang's.


	3. Chapter 3

_I wonder if Doctor Marcus wrote anything down about those scars…I'm sure he had to…and being a military doctor, he should have seen enough torture victims to recognize the injuries…_My footsteps quietly echoed down the empty hallway as I headed back to Mustang's office. Finally finding the large wooden doors, I hesitated a moment, collecting my thoughts before walking inside.

Four pairs of eyes watched me as I made my way across the office to Mustang's door. I ignored them and knocked on the open door, poking my head in.

"I'm back…" I said as I nervously thumbed the file, wondering what the doctor had written. Mustang's gaze left the window and settled on me.

"Come in." He held his hand out for the file. I made my way across the office and handed it to him. He quickly opened it and skimmed the doctor's notes, brow furrowing slightly after a minute. He glanced up at me, thinking about something then his eyes drifted back down to the paper. The silence was killing me_. I guess it isn't too big a deal if Mustang finds out about my being tortured, but if he finds out why and the events after it, that could lead to problems_…A moment later, there was a knock. With a brief glance, Mustang waved the person in and asked them to close the door. Hawkeye appeared next to me and handed me the uniform. I thanked her, still watching Mustang out of the corner of my eye. _C'mon….what did he write, a freaking novel? _After what seemed like an eternity, Mustang closed the file and looked at me.

"Horses huh?" He asked. I could tell by the tone of his voice he didn't believe it at all. "Dr. Marcus says your injuries are too extensive to be accidental…" I frowned slightly. _Dammit! Why couldn't that doctor just let it go! _I tried to hide my worry.

"I was breaking horses every day for years…" Mustang looked at me with an expression that made me trail off.

"You know I don't believe you." He said, watching me carefully. "What happened? The truth." I could see Hawkeye watching me out of the corner of my eye. I looked down, avoiding his gaze. _Shit. I have no choice…I can't tell him the whole story though…_After a long moment of silence and internal conflict; I looked back up and met his gaze evenly.

"I disobeyed direct orders, and was punished." I said my voice just as guarded as my expression. His eyes widened slightly in surprise.

"Disobeyed orders? You were in a military? What were the orders?" The curiosity in his eyes was poorly hidden.

"I was a commanding officer in the military where I was born. I was given orders to annihilate a village of rebels, but when I got there I discovered the villagers were innocent." My jaw clenched, my anger rising, "The rebels didn't exist, at all…" My fists were tightly balled at my sides, "our government just wanted to keep its people under a reign of terror by killing innocents and blaming it on rebels!" I'd steadily gotten louder and realized I was almost yelling. The anger was evident in my voice and I took a deep breath, trying to quiet down. "I told my superior that we were mistaken and that the village should be left alone…" I trailed off. Mustang stared at me, waiting for me to finish. I tried to calm myself down and sighed heavily. My voice was barely audible when I continued, "They sent in another platoon and….and _slaughtered_ the village. We tried to stop them….but when we got there…" My voice trembled and I couldn't speak as the images of the bodies flooded my mind. I closed my eyes tightly, hoping they would go away. Mustang and Hawkeye were silent. Eventually I let out a shaky breath and opened my pained gray eyes. "My….my men and I tried to stop them….they were killed and I was arrested and tortured." When I looked back up at Mustang; his expression was one of disbelief.

"Is there anything else you haven't told me?" He was studying me intently. I tried to keep my face honest. _Fletch should be arriving here soon, and then we'll keep running. All I have to do is keep these men out of it for just a little while longer…_

"Nothing. That's it." I lied.

"Then why are you running?" He leaned back in his chair, his eyes boring into mine. He had me. _He knows I'm hiding something. Shit. I just don't want these men killed like mine were…_I sighed in defeat.

"I've worked hard to lock away the demons of my past. If you go prying, you won't like what you find and I'm not sure you'll be the only one in danger. I don't like hiding things, but the less you know the better." I met his gaze, urging him to stop asking questions. He frowned slightly.

"Fine. If you feel like sharing, do so. We're a team now. That's what we're here for." His eyes softened a bit. "Go change, and Hawkeye will give you a rundown on your job." Hawkeye studied me a moment longer before saluting to Mustang. He looked at me, waiting for me to do the same. I sighed and saluted. Hawkeye and I walked out.

"If you go out the door, and take a left, then a right, the locker rooms are right there," She held out a key, "You have a locker now to store all your personal belongings." She was still studying me. I mumbled curt thanks and ignored inquisitive stares from the men, _I'm sure they heard me yelling…_

I made my way down the hallway, to the locker room. I passed a few soldiers on the way, but luckily the locker room was empty. I closed the door behind me with a sigh. _I can't believe that just happened…You weren't supposed to tell them anything…_My hand absentmindedly rubbed the tattoo on my left collar bone. I studied the room, trying to distract myself. It was airy, and full of lockers. There were sinks to my right and beyond that a hallway, which presumably led to showers. I walked around until I found an empty locker, out of the way of what I guessed to be the center of activity. I didn't really want to deal with people, there would be enough questions about the scars and the tattoo as it was…I sighed heavily and changed quickly, sitting on a bench to pull on my boots. I sat there a minute surveying my uniform clad knees. _The last time I was in uniform…._Memories of the destruction I'd caused. The screams of the innocent people that had died echoed through my head. I held my head in my trembling hands, taking several steadying breaths. _The memories… I've killed so many people…_I clenched my teeth and stood, throwing my clothes into the locker and striding out. _You're starting a new life, just forget all of that…_I walked back into Mustang's office and Hawkeye greeted me and gave me a brief rundown of the job and handed me a stack of paperwork. I turned to the desks where the other men were sitting, poorly hidden curiosity etched into their faces, and Havoc smiled softly at me,

"It's your first day and he's already drowning you in paperwork huh?" His voice was kind as he pulls out the chair at the desk next to him. _Damn... how much did they hear?_ I set the papers down and laughed a bit as I sat and said quietly,

"Yeah it could be worse though…." I think I notice a flash of pain in his clear blue eyes but he looks away before I can be sure.

"Yeah, that's a good point…" He replies before getting back to work. I frown slightly and start on my own paperwork. The hours pass and a bell rings and the men get up and stretch. I watch, slightly confused and Havoc chuckles,

"It's lunch time, c'mon" He looks slightly amused as I stand and follow them to the cafeteria. We shuffle through a line and sit at a table. He and Breda are cracking jokes, Falman's reading a book and Feury is working on a small radio. I start eating quietly, wondering what Fletch is up to when Breda nudges Havoc and asks about a date he'd had the night before. Havoc grins and replies happily,

"She's so sweet and pretty. She's funny too…" I listen in, trying to keep my curiosity hidden as Havoc continues.

"So, any chance for a second date?" Breda asks with a sort of teasing tone. Havoc chuckles and brags that he's got a date on Friday and continues to tell Breda about this girl. I feel jealousy rear its ugly head in my chest and my hand clenches slightly around my fork. I sit there, angry at this girl I've never met when Fletcher's smiling face flashes in my head. _Why does this bother me so much…I'm engaged, I shouldn't give a damn what Havoc's doing…_I absentmindedly reach up and mess with the chain around my neck that holds my wedding ring, which is carefully hidden under my uniform and think about Fletcher. The bell rings, interrupting my reverie and I throw my half eaten plate away before heading back to Mustang's.

The rest of the afternoon passed quietly, the only sounds being the scratching of pens and the ticking of the clock. Eventually the bell rang and we all stood to grab our jackets and leave. They men headed in one direction, going back to that bar I guess, and they invited me to come, but I declined. I just wanted to go home and get some sleep. The wind blew through my curly dark brown, hair as I walked. Military personnel get out of work much later than most of the civilians do, so the only sound was of the leaves crunching under my boots as I walked along the all but deserted streets. I'd decided I'd only keep a spare uniform and some spare clothes in my locker in case of emergency. I didn't want to deal with that mess every day, so I was still in the light blue uniform. I sighed heavily, thoughts returning once again to Fletch as I made my way home and crashed on the bed, not even bothering to take a shower.

[A/N: Are these chapters too long? I feel like they are, but I'm afraid it'll be too many chapters if I make them shorter….Anywho, feedback is very much appreciated! This is kind of a rough draft, so excuse any mistakes, I should catch them soon and fix them :3 Thanks for reading!]


	4. Chapter 4

The next few weeks passed by slowly. As I grew closer to the team and Jean in particular, I noticed that my nightmares became less frequent and I worried about Fletch less and less. I should be bothered by this fact, but I just wasn't. Jean was really a great man. I was honestly baffled by his horrid luck in the realm of women. I was happiest whenever I was around him…

The days grew shorter and colder and one day Jean wasn't at work. The day seemed to be normal. Hawkeye patrolled the room and everyone worked diligently. No one else seemed to be that worried so I nudged Breda. He raised his eyebrow at me.

"Where's Jean?" I whispered "Is he sick?"

Breda shook his head and we both looked back at our paperwork when Hawkeye made a sound of disapproval. A few moments later, Breda pushed a sheet towards my desk, his neat handwriting was written across the top and I glanced at Hawkeye before taking it.

"_He's on a mission. Somewhere up north. He does spec ops work, and we can't contact him until he comes back. I'm not sure when that'll be, but he'll be fine." _I finish reading the note and frown slightly at Breda who gives me a reassuring look.

"Second Lieutenant, Sergeant Major. Neither of you are leaving until your paperwork's completed." Hawkeye's stern voice cuts across the room and Breda and I both mumble "yes sir" and get back to work. I signed papers without really reading them; my mind was consumed with worry for Jean. I had to believe Breda though, these men were the best in their respective areas and I had to trust that Jean would be fine…The day passed by agonizingly slow, but eventually Hawkeye dismissed us. I stand and grab my coat before leaving and heading home. Light snow was beginning to fall, and normally I would have been excited, but my worry for Jean was like a heavy blanket that smothered all other thought.

When I got home, I cooked a small dinner, but didn't really eat, took a quick shower and climbed in bed. I eventually forced myself to sleep, but my dreams were filled with gory images of Jean and all the things that could possibly go wrong. I woke up tired and trudged through the day, not really giving a damn about anything.

Hours turned to days and days turned to weeks. It seemed like an eternity had passed after a month and I was beginning to lose hope of ever seeing him again. Gone. Just like Fletch. I had stopped wearing my wedding ring after the last letter. Fletch had given up. He told me to stay hiding wherever I was because he wouldn't be able to save me. I was alone. My sleeping habits had gotten so bad, that I had gotten into the routine of taking walks in the middle of the night. I would purposely get lost in the city and wander aimlessly through the snow.

Two months passed and still no word. My last nightmare had left me in tears and currently, it was somewhere between two AM and five AM, and I was sitting on a park bench in the snow, staring off into space. Shortly after my hands, feet and nose went numb, I could hear uneven footsteps coming up the path. I tried to ignore them, but a nagging feeling begins to claw at my stomach and I look around for the source of the noise. I saw a heavily bundled man hunched over and limping through the deep snow. Upon closer inspection, I realized he looked hurt. I stood, a bit worried for the stranger.

"Sir, are you hurt?" My voice was a bit worried, but I was incredibly cautious. The man stops and looks at me, blue eyes confused. I study him, wondering If he was some crazy drunkard. I squint a bit to get a better look and I realize his hair is blonde. It was so caked with dirt and blood, it looked brown.

"Emory?" His voice was quiet, and pained. My eyes widen in realization.

"Jean! Oh my God, Jean, are you ok?" I rush over to him and begin looking him over, a strange mixture of relief, worry and anger washed over me. "What happened?"

"Not here….somewhere warm….please…" He looks at me and I gently wrap one arm around his waist and drape his arm over my shoulder.

"It's ok Jean, I'm going to help you…" My voice was soft, but I was terrified. He was pale and had lost a lot of weight…He leaned heavily on me as we slowly headed back to my apartment. Once there, I unlock the door and lead him to the bedroom. I help him sit on the bed and rush out of the room to grab the first aid kit, several washcloths and warm water. I return to him and his eyes are closed.

"Jean…Jean, talk to me…Don't go to sleep yet…" I carefully start undressing him. His clothes were borderline frozen and he looked like he'd been soaked to the bone in them.

"mmm…..I wanna…sleep though…" He mumbled groggily. I fight with his shirt and finally get it off before moving to his boots and carefully pulling them off. He lets out a sharp cry of pain and I stop. "Please stop…it hurts…"

"I know Jean, but I have to get it off…" I try to ignore the nasty injuries on his chest as I pull his boots off as carefully as possible. He grunts and cries out in pain as they're slowly removed. His feet were covered in infected blisters and I curse under my breath. "What happened to you…." I fight back anger and sadness as I move to his pants and carefully remove them. He hisses as the torn fabric moves across a particularly deep cut on his thigh and I murmur soothingly to him as I get his pants off and get to work washing his wounds with a wet towel.

Almost two hours pass before I get him clean and bandaged up. I give him some pain medication and tuck him into my bed. He murmurs something that sound like a thank you and I hush him, but he's already asleep. I watch him a moment, anger rising. _How could Mustang do this to him?_ I carefully clean up and close the bedroom door. I grab some spare blankets and a pillow before curling up on the couch. I'd give that bastard a piece of my mind in the morning, but for now, I needed sleep. I close my eyes and sleep peacefully, knowing that Jean was safe in the next room.


End file.
